Where Is Everybody?

This wedding took place in a small Kibbutz in northern Israel called Kibbutz "Lehava" (name changed).

An agent in Haifa booked us for this gig, so we never were able to talk to the bride and groom or meet them in advance.
All we knew was that the party was to be in the recreation room of kibbutz Lehava at 7:00 PM Wednesday.

At approximately 6:30 that night we arrived at the kibbutz. There was nobody anywhere to be found. We were getting nervous, it was already late and there was no one there to ask. We drove around until we saw a place that looked like a typical recreation room. The room was dark, the door was locked and the whole area looked like a ghost town. It looked as if there was a monster lurking about in the street and everybody had locked themselves in their houses afraid to come out.

Our first thought was that we had come to the wrong place, and somewhere out there hundreds of guests were waiting for us to entertain them, and here we were, stuck in this G-d forsaken place. Or, maybe it was the right place but the wrong date. If we could only ask someone, but where on earth was everybody?

It was already 7:30 and nothing was happening. Why were all the windows closed? How come there was nobody walking around? Were we even in the right kibbutz? Did we read the signs correctly?
Needless to say, we started to blame each other for getting the wrong information from the agent. In those days there were no cellular phones, no beepers, no way to communicate with our booking agent. We could ask somebody to use their phone but all the houses seemed bolted and locked up like the devil was just on the other side of their doors.
Feeling very hopeless we just sat in the car, knowing that something here was very wrong. What was going on?

Around 7:55 we saw a man dressed in shorts and sandals slowly approach the door looking very bored. It was hard to believe but he actually had the key and was ready to open the door. I jumped out of the car like someone who had just seen the Messiah. I quickly approached him and asked if this was the recreation room. "Yes" he said, not even looking at me. "Is there a wedding here tonight"? I asked, anxiously awaiting the answer. "Yes" he answered again emotionlessly. "Are you sure"?.. Yes"
I ran back to the guys to give them the good news but they were too frustrated to believe it. "Ask him again" they said, "Where is everybody?"
I ran in, the door was open now and he was moving some tables. "Where is everybody?" I asked. "They’ll come". "Are you sure?" "Yes."
This guy had no excitement in his voice and it looked like he just wanted do his thing, set the tables and go. I couldn’t help it any more so I asked him, not hiding my anger: "Do you mind telling me who you are?" .."The groom" he said.
"What??? You’re getting married in shorts?"
"No, I’ll change into pants after I set the tables."
Is this guy for real?

This building consisted of 2 rooms, a large main room and a separate smaller room that looked like a hallway leading to the bathroom. My friends, naturally, started to set up in the big room. "You should set up in the small room" he said, "the big room is for the food." "No one will even see us in the other room" we argued feeling defeated, "It is completely isolated. No one will even know we are there."
"It’s ok, they’ll hear you".

Sometime around 8:15 we heard some activity. Everything was still closed but we could see two buses arriving.
A loud and noisy group poured out of them. The group, cheering and shouting, was the complete opposite of the silent people of the kibbutz with their windows and doors locked up tight.
The bride appeared pregnant and could hardly walk. She looked like she was ready to deliver any minute. The guests from the bus rushed into the room cheering and shouting, ready to burst open the doors. It seemed as if they wanted to perform the wedding before the bride actually delivered the baby.

We started to play for ourselves; No one else was there to listen. I could swear I heard one of my guys snoring. The guests were all in the other room feasting on the food, probably starving from their long journey. I think one guy, on his way to the bathroom, actually noticed us there and said, "You guys are good."

They all left as suddenly as they arrived. In less than an hour there was nobody there beside some messy tables and us.
We packed up our equipment in a strange silence. I was hoping that one of us would promise to kill the booking agent, but nobody said anything.

Epilogue:
Later, we found out that the groom, who was Ashkenazi, got a Moroccan woman pregnant and had to marry her. In those days, you couldn’t get a Moroccan woman pregnant and live to tell about it unless you married her. All the people in the kibbutz had shunned the wedding and the unwanted bride.

Yosi Saffi Levy