Soup And Sound

This one happened in the uptown city of Haifa.

My friend Saul was a great musician. As a matter of fact, I thought he was one of the best keyboard players I knew.
We had an upcoming gig in one of the most elegant hotels in Haifa, the Dan Carmel hotel at the top of the Carmel Mountain, uptown Haifa.

Most of our gigs were usually in wedding halls. Some nice, some less nice. This one was fancy. No wonder we were a little nervous about this gig. Not everyday you get to play at the Dan Carmel Hotel. I was pretty exited too and hoped that this gig would be one of a kind.

At the said date, I drove to pick up Saul. Since I had a van, I volunteered to be the driver. His keyboard was usually at his parents place. They had a catering business. Their place was at the beginning of a very stiff hill that led to the Carmel Mountain, In Haifa.

Saul came down with his keyboard.. For some reason he did not look exited, in fact, he looked bothered.

“What’s up Saul!” I shouted, trying to put some excitement in him.
“Don’t ask”, he said, “my parents want me to take some soup with us, to the party.
“Soup?” I said, “I’m not even hungry, besides, we `re probably going to eat there.

“That’s exactly the point” said Saul, “my parents agreed to supply the soup for the party, and they want me to take it with us”
I wasn’t crazy about the idea, my speakers were new, and I didn’t want the steams from the soup to go too close to my new speakers and make them smell.

“Ok then,” I said, “let’s just do it quick, how many containers we have to take?”
“Three”, he said quietly, awaiting my response.
“It’s ok, let’s just do it”.

Saul felt embarrassed, he brought the three big containers to me, and I was trying to figure how to put it as far from the speakers as possible. Finally I was able to organize it nicely, and we started the car.

This road was the shortest road to the top of the Carmel mountain, but it was also very stiff and winding.
I was proud of my self and my driving. I drove real careful, trying not to make short stops or fast turns. I didn’t like soup-smelling speakers. In about 20 minutes we were there.

Saul went back and opened the trunk. When I heard him scream ”Dam it,” I knew something happened.

I went back and looked with fear. All three containers were opened and spilled all over the back of the van. Saul was very angry with his parent’s idea to share with us their catering delivery. He felt so bad, that I had to be the one to pretend that it`s no big deal. “Anyway, I was going to change those speakers”, I said, “ they’re too heavy”.

Mean while, our drummer, Ari came out to meet us.
He came much earlier than us. The bride and the groom were his friends and he wanted to make sure that everything goes real well.

“Ari,” come and give us a hand “ we asked him.
“As long as it doesn’t interfere with my good looks,” he responded. Ari was a great drummer and a funny gut too. He always liked to joke, making us feel good.

When he realized what happened, he was getting anxious. We turned the speakers upside down and got some of the water out of it. I told them that I would just clean the car later on, so every thing should run smooth.

We put the two speakers on stage. The smelled terrible. I never saw Ari as nervous as he was this day. He was Actually grinding his teeth.
“Relax, Ari” I said, “ nobody died from the smell of good soup before” I tried to cheer him up.
He smiled one of his famous great smiles and we were ready to play.

We started with soft background music. We knew the speakers were very wet, so we went easy to make sure they are actually working.
The mother of the groom, Rebecca, came and asked us to pick up the beat. She was dressed nicely and had a fancy hairstyle. When she was done talking she sniffed with her nose, maybe thinking that one of us had a bad stomach.

We picked up the beat and started to play disco music. Disco was very popular in the seventies.
When the party was getting hot, we raised the volume and got into the mood, forgetting our earlier problem. The bride and groom were dancing now together with the parents and all the guests and we all felt good. We wanted so much for this party to succeed, and it did.

At the hit of the music I felt something hitting me. I looked at my feet. There was a piece of carrot that smashed into my feet. I looked at Saul. He was looking at the speakers. Several pieces of carrots and split pee were coming out of them. I felt being washed with cold sweat. Ari knew about it before me. He saw the pieces smashing out of the speakers. He was grinding his teeth.

I told them to smile and pretend that everything is great, but the carrots and split pea was pouring out from the pressure in the speaker. One stubborn piece of split pea got stuck at Rebecca’s fancy hairstyle. She looked very surprised to find something greasy on her hair, but she just pushed it away with her hand.

After ten minutes of dancing, it became too obvious that something is going on. The smell was horrible, the floor looked ridiculous and it was full of carrots, split pea and onions. Just to make it a little worse, the headwaiter came to Saul and asked him where is the soup that we brought.

We had to tell him the truth. “It’s all over the floor” said Saul. We stopped the music and asked the headwaiter to have someone come and clean the floor.

Meanwhile, the guests became curious about what is happening. The more we wanted them seated, the more curious they were. Many of them came closer to watch what was happening.
The dance floor was embarrassing. The headwaiter realized how bad it was. Suddenly he moved fast, to get something to clean the greasy dance floor. He wasn’t very careful walking on it, and suddenly; boom!, he slipped over some vegetables on the floor.

It was a mess, Ari was grinding his teeth harder, Saul was swearing that he will never speak to his parents again, and I decided to put my speakers on sale for the lowest bidder.
The angry headwaiter called us to the kitchen and told us that as far as he is concerned, we will never work in the Dan hotel, ever again.

We didn’t know what to say. There was a strange silent and we didn’t know how to break it.
Luckily, the phone rang and saved us from the silence.
“It is your father” said the head waiter, “He wanted to know how was the soup”

Epilogue:

It turned that the headwaiter actually saved us when he fell. Everyone was laughing so hard, having a great time; they thought it was pretty amusing.
He kept his promise though, and we never got to play in this hotel ever again.

Dedicated to the memory of my friend Saul.

Yosi Saffi Levy.